How Do You Eat Yours?

One of my favorite questions to ask people I meet is, "How do you eat yours?" Although this makes most sense when we have just finished eating a Chinese dinner and are onto the Fortune Cookie part of the evening as this question is about just that. I've always eaten my fortune cookie the same way and it wasn't until I got to college that I realized people did it any differently. Here are the different ways to eat your fortune cookie and what I think I it says about you as a functioning person of society and in bed;

Break, Read, Eat - These people are often selfish, hate waiting, and eager to be told that something amazing will happen in their lives. If you get them in the sack they won't really care about the outcome for you, you've been warned.

Break, Eat Half, Read, Eat Other Half- These people are pretty superstitious. Typically they only eat the second half of their cookie if they agree with the fortune they have found inside and hope for it to come true. These people are loyal to their friends and beliefs. In bed, you could probably have a good time but I doubt they'd be into being too adventurous since they tend to be superstitious. If you tried to be in a park and black cat came by who knows what could happen.

Break, Eat, Read - These people are completely awesome and you should definitely try to be friends with them, although they can be picky and only socialize with the best of the best. My advice would be if you see someone eat their cookie this way you need to take them somewhere private immediately as they are dynamite and you won't regret it.

Cookie Smashers- These are the people that break the cookie on their forehead let it crumble and then just read the fortune, typically leaving a mess all around them. They can be awesome, but more likely are breaking the cookie on their forehead because they feel a beer can will hurt too much. Plus, let's not forget that they don't even eat the wonder that is the "Fortune Cookie." They tend to get a little rough and dominant so if that's your thing then I say go for it, but be prepared for the bruised and rashes to come.

Cookie Crumblers- These people tend to grab the cookie in their fist and squeeze it until it crumbles on the floor/table around them, once again wasting the deliciousness that is the cookie. These people tend to do this because they want to seem macho but are too afraid of the cookie ruining their complexion or the pain it may cause on their forehead. They may try to get a little rough in the sack but let's face it, they really just want to be dominated.

Biters- These people tend to just bite into the cookie as though it were a regular old chocolate chip cookie. Often getting saliva on their fortune or having to actually pull it out of their mouth to read it. My hope for you is that you never have to witness this and I wouldn't advise hanging out with these people. I'd also venture to guess that they are not good in the sack, too selfish and uneducated.
Also, bite marks, duh!

So how do you eat yours? If you were paying attention to this blog at all then you already know what my answer is.