I haven't spent a Christmas at home with my family since the year 2004. I typically see at least my parents in December, but it's hit and miss with my other family. For all those Christmas Days (aside from 2006 when I was recovering my ACL surgery) I got to spend my day performing for other families and putting smiles on their faces. Since I've transitioned in work, I no longer have to give up my holiday.
Today has been rather surreal. I don't have a single thing that I have to do. I'd like to go visit with friend's and enjoy a delicious dinner with some of what you may call my "adopted" family, but when it comes down to it, I don't have to. I don't have a significant other either. So here I find myself. Staring at my Christmas Tree. Not wanting to open the couple of gifts under there for me (I did my main gift exchange a week ago when my parents were in town) because I know that once I do it's over. However, at the same time I have the desire to just put all of my decorations away now.
It's a weird feeling. Neither bad, nor good. Very different than my usual Christmas feeling. I have great time to reflect and the good news is, that what I reflect upon is peaceful and happy. Of course I have had some time to reflect on some of the things that didn't go so well this year and on people that I miss because this year, we just no longer took the time to maintain what we had. It's a strange place in my life. Which occurs as one gets older and everyone begins to get married and have babies, especially when you feel at times they are advancing and you are just standing still. Overall though, I am very happy with my life. I have been blessed with many wonderful people and to me, that is the reason of the season. To recognize the love that is all around us, and spread the love and joy ourselves.
Merry Christmas to you or yours! Or Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza etc.
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