Josh Hartnett Made Lent Cool

It's that time of year again! The time when people decide what they are going to give up for the next 40 days. This is almost like a 2nd chance at your New Year's resolution that you've already failed on - but this time you only have to try and stick it out for 40 days. Giving up things for Lent has become a trend in that last decade. I blame it on the wonderful film "40 Days and 40 Nights" in which the gorgeous Josh Hartnett, who is a sex addict, tries to give up sex for Lent. I can't remember if they discuss it in the movie, but I'm pretty sure he is not doing this for any religious reason - nor does he do any of the other things one is "supposed" to do that accompany Lent. I see the movie as an exploration of how many different things one film can do with boobs and have it not be considered pornographic. I especially like the dream scene where he flying and all of the clouds are, you guessed it, boobs! There is also the famous scene where Mr. Hartnett fondles Mrs. Butterworth at the breakfast table. I may or may not have felt slightly violated while watching that. A friend of mine in college tried to give up his sex addiction for Lent once. If I remember correctly he succeeded but that is only because he relied more heavily on his other addictions - drugs and alcohol.

The true meaning of Lent is to purify oneself in preparation for "renewal". Many argue that this cannot be accomplished by what has now become the mainstream idea of Lent or "Traditions of Man". That self-denial is not the way to create the desire to do God's will within you. This is not an argument that I will be getting into here, just some information on the season that I thought I'd share.

I have many friends that are giving things up for Lent, whether for religious reasons or just to jump on the bandwagon of "bettering themselves." A lot of friends have posted openly that they will be giving up alcohol, which in turn has caused me to seriously consider drinking more to make up for the alcohol industries loss on this. Some are giving up fast food, eating out and I have one friend who every year gives up eating after 8pm. I'm always impressed with his willpower since our jobs often don't make this easy. I do have some friends who are going a different route with Lent this year. Instead of giving things up they are deciding to do things or take notice of their blessings. One has decided to do a gratitude journal while another has decided to donate to charity via https://philanthroper.com/ a site that allows you to donate $1 to a different charity everyday. In the end what are you really losing? $40? Is that really losing something if you know that you've helped (even if it seems small) 40 different charities? Plus, everyday when you log onto to donate you will be thinking about why you are doing it. Really it would be "giving up something for Lent" since you would be giving up 1 of your dollars everyday, but more importantly you would be giving back to the world. I personally like the idea of giving up time or money to charities rather than giving up fast food, alcohol, or sex. Now there are people our there who go the opposite way with the sex thing and are giving themselves up for Lent, but I just call them sluts and they typically do it all year long.

If I were to participate in Lent it would not be for the religious reasons that others do so I essentially could just do it anytime of the year that I felt like it and for as long a period as I wanted, which sounds a lot like a New Year's Resolution without restrictions. So will you be giving up or giving something for Lent? Are you still deciding what to do for Lent? As I said, I may just drink more...

How Do You Eat Yours?

One of my favorite questions to ask people I meet is, "How do you eat yours?" Although this makes most sense when we have just finished eating a Chinese dinner and are onto the Fortune Cookie part of the evening as this question is about just that. I've always eaten my fortune cookie the same way and it wasn't until I got to college that I realized people did it any differently. Here are the different ways to eat your fortune cookie and what I think I it says about you as a functioning person of society and in bed;

Break, Read, Eat - These people are often selfish, hate waiting, and eager to be told that something amazing will happen in their lives. If you get them in the sack they won't really care about the outcome for you, you've been warned.

Break, Eat Half, Read, Eat Other Half- These people are pretty superstitious. Typically they only eat the second half of their cookie if they agree with the fortune they have found inside and hope for it to come true. These people are loyal to their friends and beliefs. In bed, you could probably have a good time but I doubt they'd be into being too adventurous since they tend to be superstitious. If you tried to be in a park and black cat came by who knows what could happen.

Break, Eat, Read - These people are completely awesome and you should definitely try to be friends with them, although they can be picky and only socialize with the best of the best. My advice would be if you see someone eat their cookie this way you need to take them somewhere private immediately as they are dynamite and you won't regret it.

Cookie Smashers- These are the people that break the cookie on their forehead let it crumble and then just read the fortune, typically leaving a mess all around them. They can be awesome, but more likely are breaking the cookie on their forehead because they feel a beer can will hurt too much. Plus, let's not forget that they don't even eat the wonder that is the "Fortune Cookie." They tend to get a little rough and dominant so if that's your thing then I say go for it, but be prepared for the bruised and rashes to come.

Cookie Crumblers- These people tend to grab the cookie in their fist and squeeze it until it crumbles on the floor/table around them, once again wasting the deliciousness that is the cookie. These people tend to do this because they want to seem macho but are too afraid of the cookie ruining their complexion or the pain it may cause on their forehead. They may try to get a little rough in the sack but let's face it, they really just want to be dominated.

Biters- These people tend to just bite into the cookie as though it were a regular old chocolate chip cookie. Often getting saliva on their fortune or having to actually pull it out of their mouth to read it. My hope for you is that you never have to witness this and I wouldn't advise hanging out with these people. I'd also venture to guess that they are not good in the sack, too selfish and uneducated.
Also, bite marks, duh!

So how do you eat yours? If you were paying attention to this blog at all then you already know what my answer is.

Alone on Christmas

I haven't spent a Christmas at home with my family since the year 2004. I typically see at least my parents in December, but it's hit and miss with my other family. For all those Christmas Days (aside from 2006 when I was recovering my ACL surgery) I got to spend my day performing for other families and putting smiles on their faces. Since I've transitioned in work, I no longer have to give up my holiday.

Today has been rather surreal. I don't have a single thing that I have to do. I'd like to go visit with friend's and enjoy a delicious dinner with some of what you may call my "adopted" family, but when it comes down to it, I don't have to. I don't have a significant other either. So here I find myself. Staring at my Christmas Tree. Not wanting to open the couple of gifts under there for me (I did my main gift exchange a week ago when my parents were in town) because I know that once I do it's over. However, at the same time I have the desire to just put all of my decorations away now.

It's a weird feeling. Neither bad, nor good. Very different than my usual Christmas feeling. I have great time to reflect and the good news is, that what I reflect upon is peaceful and happy. Of course I have had some time to reflect on some of the things that didn't go so well this year and on people that I miss because this year, we just no longer took the time to maintain what we had. It's a strange place in my life. Which occurs as one gets older and everyone begins to get married and have babies, especially when you feel at times they are advancing and you are just standing still. Overall though, I am very happy with my life. I have been blessed with many wonderful people and to me, that is the reason of the season. To recognize the love that is all around us, and spread the love and joy ourselves.

Merry Christmas to you or yours! Or Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza etc.

Thankful?

3 days ago was Thanksgiving. The time when most of America gets together with family to eat, watch football and probably argue. This year I was fortunate to get to spend my Thanksgiving with my sister and get away from home. I hadn't left home for the holidays in almost 6 years! Since I live thousands of miles from where most of my family is, this was kind of a big deal for me. The mini vacation ends today, but I must say overall it was a good one. Not perfect, but that is probably just because things were different. This time I stayed with her and her live-in boyfriend. Who did we spend Thanksgiving with? Her live-in boyfriend's brother and wife. Yay for a few days of feeling like the 5th wheel! It could have been worse though and I cherish the opportunity that I was able to spend some time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

On the days leading up to Thanksgiving, I spent a lot of time reflecting. I had a very rough year and last year at this time I wasn't exactly happy. I have been very fortunate the last couple months. While things are never perfect, I'm learning, growing and seeing blessings around every corner. It's easy to feel down and like the world is out to get you. What most people don't realize is that it's actually really easy to feel as though you hold the world in your hand. My message to you this holiday season is to look at all of the blessings in your life. Yes the bills may be piled high, you may have lost your job, you or someone you love's health may be deteriorating; but cherish the blessings! It may be hard to see but even if you feel as though you've hit rock bottom, I promise you there is at least one great blessing in there. Find it, and focus your energy there. After a while, you will realize that the rest will just start falling into place.

I wish you the most positive and happy of holidays, you'll be surprised how much you can accomplish when you focus on the positives and allow yourself the happiness you deserve.

Experience Expired

As you all probably know, the economy has seen better days. Of course me, being as brilliant as I am, decided that in the midst of this, would be the perfect time to search for a new job. A year and half later I realized I hadn't thought things through. In my younger days (not that I am really old) I never really had a problem getting a job, but this time my sights were set higher. I wanted more than just a job, I wanted a real "career". At first, I searched for my dream job. After about 9 months I thought I'd landed it - until a month and half later when the guy hadn't paid me. I had a number of odd jobs and jobs that didn't pay much. It helps that I have connections in the entertainment world so I was able to do dance gigs and still perform in shows that I am trained in, so at least I wasn't completely destitute. Of course this caused problems in many aspects of my life but we won't get into that because it would veer me too far from my subject. You see, I really enjoyed performing. Which is why after college when I had a great career in finance for a very large company practically handed to me, I turned it down to go get performing out of my system. My thoughts being, "might as well do it while I'm young and I can." Mind, I don't regret that decision but after 5 years performing, I began to wonder what I could put on my resume that would be relevant and current. Turns out, not much of anything.

Of course I had credits to put on for the entertainment positions I applied for but as far as office work was concerned, forget it! Still, I made do with what I had. I had a number of job interviews which brought about a new experience for me; interviewing and not being offered the position. That hadn't really happened to me before. A few weeks ago I finally marched into a temp agency and said, "Who do I need to get my resume to to be considered to work for your company?" The woman behind the desk said, "We really don't see anyone unless they have an appointment." I mentioned to her how I was done submitting my resume to the abyss that was the Internet and I wanted to make sure that someone had a copy of my resume in their hands. She just kept telling me how they don't see people without an appointment and then the receptionist came back to the desk and the two of them (seeming reluctant) set me up an interview for the next day and said they would send me the information for me to take my qualification tests.

The next day I found out I was interviewing with the "we don't see people without an appointment" lady, who that day was very polite. She looked at my test scores and was very impressed. Her only concern as she said was that my experience was "all expired". She wasn't sure they would be able to find a company that would want to take someone with 6 year old experience. Of course, that had been my problem for the last year and half! I hated to believe it, but I knew it the whole time. I had used no "real" job skills in the 6 1/2 years! She helped me to feel slightly optimistic when I left, but I was worried. If a large temp service didn't think they could find me work, I was screwed.

Two days later (Friday) they called with a job for me to start the following Monday. That next Friday, they called to say the company wanted to offer me a full time position. Is the job amazing? No. Is it terrible? No, but either way I will certainly do it for a year or so so that I will no longer have the problem of my experience being "expired."

Scheduling Conflicts

Ever have that person you date that completely throws off your schedule? I was dating this guy for quite sometime who’s typical day schedule was to wake up at 1 or 2pm and go to sleep between 5 and 6am. He certainly did not have your typical 9-5 job. He would usually go into work around 10pm and get off work around 4am, but sometimes he got lucky and worked the 5pm-10pm shift. You can imagine what this meant for hanging out. Especially since my work schedule was primarily 1:30pm-11pm at the time, subsequently making my days go from around 10am-2am. Of course, when we were dating we needed to find time to see each other. That time usually came in the late night hours. In fact our first real date was him picking me up to go out for drinks around 11pm. This was obviously a relationship that revolved around bars, late night movies at home and sharing a bed together. In fact the times that we saw each other outside of a bedroom in the daylight were few and far between. I used to think that schedules and relationships like that were fleeting and that once I got older things would be different. Apparently I picked the wrong profession and continue to pick the wrong guys if I wanted my schedule to ever resemble what people in this world consider “normalcy”. In the end though, I can’t complain. Even if I find myself falling asleep (or surprisingly keeping myself awake) waiting until 4:30am when it’s finally time to have “date night” with that special someone. Although I must admit, it is a killer for the following day’s schedule.

Socially Acceptable

I love my neighborhood and I’ve always loved wondering aimlessly taking in my surroundings. So I often find myself out walking around in the evening possibly catching up with friends and family on the phone or just walking and thinking. Where I live now there are ton of houses that I like to refer to as “mini mansions” all around. It’s the type of neighborhood where every house looks as though it could star in a movie all by itself. Circle driveways, long walkways to doorsteps, large patios, 1 floor, 2 floors, Spanish influence, Castle like turrets, gated, non gated, huge trees and red doors. Every one has its own personality and story.

A couple of weeks ago I headed out from my apartment on a walk. Shortly after entering the sidewalk of the main road a car drove by me (which of course, is not unusual for the main street). I did the sort of sideways glance at the car as it passed that most people tend to do while walking down the street. I noticed that the car pulls into a drive about two houses up on the opposite side of the road. A rather nice house, which if you look at the side next to the lake you can see they have a boat dock in the lake with a pool deck/hot tub as well. As I walk up past the house I notice a man probably in his early 40’s get out of his car in the garage and head inside, I feel as though he glanced my way but I was unsure. A couple of seconds later he comes out of the house and heads toward the trash can while calling a hello to me across the street. I return the greeting and begin to continue on my way when he walks toward the end of the drive and asks me, “Did we get any rain here today?” I respond that we did get a good amount for about an hour or so but that was all. He continues to make a little small talk about how we need the rain and I continue with some small polite responses.

The conversation seems to wind down very quickly and just as I believe our exchange is finished and I’m ready to continue with my walk he calls, “Want a beer?” and gestures to his house. Quickly my mind works; I would love to see the inside of that house, this man is definitely older than me, what are his motives, there is a basketball hoop in the drive, I’m only 28 and look young for my age at that, he can’t live in that house alone, two car garage plus an extra car port, does he have a wife? “No thanks,” I reply “I actually just woke up from a nap and am trying to get my body functioning again. Thanks again though.” “Alright,” the man says as he ducks his head and makes his way back into the house.

The last thing I need is to be the subject for the next Lifetime movie.