Josh Hartnett Made Lent Cool

It's that time of year again! The time when people decide what they are going to give up for the next 40 days. This is almost like a 2nd chance at your New Year's resolution that you've already failed on - but this time you only have to try and stick it out for 40 days. Giving up things for Lent has become a trend in that last decade. I blame it on the wonderful film "40 Days and 40 Nights" in which the gorgeous Josh Hartnett, who is a sex addict, tries to give up sex for Lent. I can't remember if they discuss it in the movie, but I'm pretty sure he is not doing this for any religious reason - nor does he do any of the other things one is "supposed" to do that accompany Lent. I see the movie as an exploration of how many different things one film can do with boobs and have it not be considered pornographic. I especially like the dream scene where he flying and all of the clouds are, you guessed it, boobs! There is also the famous scene where Mr. Hartnett fondles Mrs. Butterworth at the breakfast table. I may or may not have felt slightly violated while watching that. A friend of mine in college tried to give up his sex addiction for Lent once. If I remember correctly he succeeded but that is only because he relied more heavily on his other addictions - drugs and alcohol.

The true meaning of Lent is to purify oneself in preparation for "renewal". Many argue that this cannot be accomplished by what has now become the mainstream idea of Lent or "Traditions of Man". That self-denial is not the way to create the desire to do God's will within you. This is not an argument that I will be getting into here, just some information on the season that I thought I'd share.

I have many friends that are giving things up for Lent, whether for religious reasons or just to jump on the bandwagon of "bettering themselves." A lot of friends have posted openly that they will be giving up alcohol, which in turn has caused me to seriously consider drinking more to make up for the alcohol industries loss on this. Some are giving up fast food, eating out and I have one friend who every year gives up eating after 8pm. I'm always impressed with his willpower since our jobs often don't make this easy. I do have some friends who are going a different route with Lent this year. Instead of giving things up they are deciding to do things or take notice of their blessings. One has decided to do a gratitude journal while another has decided to donate to charity via https://philanthroper.com/ a site that allows you to donate $1 to a different charity everyday. In the end what are you really losing? $40? Is that really losing something if you know that you've helped (even if it seems small) 40 different charities? Plus, everyday when you log onto to donate you will be thinking about why you are doing it. Really it would be "giving up something for Lent" since you would be giving up 1 of your dollars everyday, but more importantly you would be giving back to the world. I personally like the idea of giving up time or money to charities rather than giving up fast food, alcohol, or sex. Now there are people our there who go the opposite way with the sex thing and are giving themselves up for Lent, but I just call them sluts and they typically do it all year long.

If I were to participate in Lent it would not be for the religious reasons that others do so I essentially could just do it anytime of the year that I felt like it and for as long a period as I wanted, which sounds a lot like a New Year's Resolution without restrictions. So will you be giving up or giving something for Lent? Are you still deciding what to do for Lent? As I said, I may just drink more...

How Do You Eat Yours?

One of my favorite questions to ask people I meet is, "How do you eat yours?" Although this makes most sense when we have just finished eating a Chinese dinner and are onto the Fortune Cookie part of the evening as this question is about just that. I've always eaten my fortune cookie the same way and it wasn't until I got to college that I realized people did it any differently. Here are the different ways to eat your fortune cookie and what I think I it says about you as a functioning person of society and in bed;

Break, Read, Eat - These people are often selfish, hate waiting, and eager to be told that something amazing will happen in their lives. If you get them in the sack they won't really care about the outcome for you, you've been warned.

Break, Eat Half, Read, Eat Other Half- These people are pretty superstitious. Typically they only eat the second half of their cookie if they agree with the fortune they have found inside and hope for it to come true. These people are loyal to their friends and beliefs. In bed, you could probably have a good time but I doubt they'd be into being too adventurous since they tend to be superstitious. If you tried to be in a park and black cat came by who knows what could happen.

Break, Eat, Read - These people are completely awesome and you should definitely try to be friends with them, although they can be picky and only socialize with the best of the best. My advice would be if you see someone eat their cookie this way you need to take them somewhere private immediately as they are dynamite and you won't regret it.

Cookie Smashers- These are the people that break the cookie on their forehead let it crumble and then just read the fortune, typically leaving a mess all around them. They can be awesome, but more likely are breaking the cookie on their forehead because they feel a beer can will hurt too much. Plus, let's not forget that they don't even eat the wonder that is the "Fortune Cookie." They tend to get a little rough and dominant so if that's your thing then I say go for it, but be prepared for the bruised and rashes to come.

Cookie Crumblers- These people tend to grab the cookie in their fist and squeeze it until it crumbles on the floor/table around them, once again wasting the deliciousness that is the cookie. These people tend to do this because they want to seem macho but are too afraid of the cookie ruining their complexion or the pain it may cause on their forehead. They may try to get a little rough in the sack but let's face it, they really just want to be dominated.

Biters- These people tend to just bite into the cookie as though it were a regular old chocolate chip cookie. Often getting saliva on their fortune or having to actually pull it out of their mouth to read it. My hope for you is that you never have to witness this and I wouldn't advise hanging out with these people. I'd also venture to guess that they are not good in the sack, too selfish and uneducated.
Also, bite marks, duh!

So how do you eat yours? If you were paying attention to this blog at all then you already know what my answer is.